je peux sincèrement le dire.
When you know the man you love and adore had feeling for someone else, it takes some time to believe him when he tells you he no longer have feelings for the other woman. You want proof, reassurance and even when you get them... the paranoia kicks in and you can't help but imagine the worse.
When I got a message from the other woman telling me I went too far, I got angry, then very upset. and kept telling myself how dare she to behave like that. When I confronted Bf about it, he can only take her side. And my paranoia kicked in even more, how can she be that involved in the decision I took to go away few days with the kids.
But as the story unfolded she wasn't referring to that, she was referring to something quite nasty that had happened to her. someone has pretended to be me and texted her some abusive messages.
Never in a million years i would have dreamed of writing what i am about to write: yesterday I said to BF to add her again as a contact in his phone, whatever happened is now in the past, true they have common interests and i would much prefer him replying to her texts in front of me instead of hiding. I must get rid of this paranoia for my own sanity. this is not me. It was a massive step for me (but still warn him that i didn't want any D or L words). I want to move on and look at the future I can't do it with a black cloud full of thoughts of my very fertile imagination above my head.
The air is clear, we can breathe. sense of huge relieve that everything will be ok, that the future is bright.
Things are still bugging me: I want to know who is the nasty person who pretended to be me. This weekend BF and me played the detectives and found it impossible to get a mobile number with just a name (tip if you know how please!!!) Who has such a twisted mind to do such a thing, I wonder. Somewhere there is someone who pretend to be a friend and isn't. His or her actions could have caused lots of damages.
The last few days, the adults have been taking lots of time out, as BF and me needed to talk things through, kids seemed to be fine and understand that we need "adult time, I had to hide my feeligs, my emotions and pretend that everything was great. Now i am so glad I don't have to do that. It is real, the five of 5, me and him....,.never been so content.